How to create Self Compassion

So when the topic of self compassion comes up I really have a hard time with that. I would like to think of self compassion as a forgiveness button that you can go to anytime you are being hard on yourself. Since my Life Coaching is based on helping women who are in a relationship with an addict and need support and survival skills to redifine their lives this topic comes up often.

A few weeks ago, I was reminded that I needed more self compassion. I was at my cello lesson and I was having a really hard time getting the notes right and I remember telling myself outloud why can’t I get it RIGHT and just being so hard on myself. At the end of the lesson, the instructor turned to me and said that I needed more self compassion. I raised my eyebrow disbelieving what he had said to me. Me? Self compassion? I always give myself a break. Well apparently not on that day. So I got to thinking about what was self compassion? and why if, as he pointed out, I did not have it. A lot of times, I notice that when we are rushing through the day and going from one thing to another we are so unaware of what is really going on. The rollercoaster of life never catches up at that precise moment. This is the time when you loose sight of what it is really going on. It is time for self-reflection.

I started by recreating that moment when I was at my  lesson and recreating step by step what had happened on that day. He was right I was so hard on myself and did not show a tiny bit of self compassion. The next lesson I was feeling good and was not hard on myself and I reminded myself that part of learning is making mistakes.

 As you go thru your day what are some ways that you can practice self-compassion? What is a good way to be kind to yourself when things come up?

I think this is so important because as a mother of 3 living with an addict for 20 years, it is super challenging but you need to have this in your daily emotional tool box.